Why do I want her to hear my song?

Why do I crave her opinion?

How do I get a wide smile for a message from her?

Why do I yearn to talk to her?

Why do I enjoy conversing with her so much?

Does she have any inkling about me?

What would she think?

What if she doesn’t feel the same way?

What if I am 42nd on her list of people?

What do I do?

Two voices talking:

Optimist: Things will get better, the only way from here is upwards.

Pessimist: How are you so sure that you have hit rock bottom? How many times have you said this, only to fall deeper and deeper?

Optimist: Umm…I don’t know? I want to hope for something…

Emotional maturity seems like a big fancy term psychologists use. But the words simply mean: capability to handle one’s emotional needs in a healthy way. And this is something I have been struggling with, something I am looking to learn and improve at the ripe old age of 28.


Being a software engineer, I like to solve problems. Especially the problems which take up a lot of time and effort. Any problem which is also repetitive. At work, we figure out what issues the customers are facing, how can we solve them and make their lives a bit easier…

I am tired of the mess everywhere

Tired of neither solving nor ignoring

Tired of being stuck in my head

Tired of pointlessly smiling

Tired of being tired

Tired of existing

Wishing it all ends

Tired of wishing too

Yet another human being succumbed to depression yesterday. Mental health, depression, and unhappiness are the talk of the town. “He looked so happy, how could he be depressed?”, is the question people are left asking. People are saying to each other, “In case you feel depressed, please let me know…

22nd May, 2020. 9:05 pm. Last con call. Last status update of requests. Last email sent.

This conference call wasn’t like the other ones. This one was a video conference. This was informal. This was just 5 of us talking general stuff. Reminiscing the past 2 months. …

ambarish rao

Avid reader and amateur writer ambarishsmusings.blogspot.in

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